RANT.

[*(SHADE)*]

okay...i am pissed so i really need to just talk... rant...and i trust everyone here so... don't read if it'll make you mad.

okay. so i am still so effing mad that blackie and truthy made a fool of me awhile back... with the c-box and the whole "if i were choosing favorites, shade, truth wouldn't be getting punsihed at all." that really was nice to hear. i understood though, so ready to leave and just say screw it all. and now it's all coming back to the surface. yay! so i'm still mad about that because i am still embarrassed for even thinking blackie would let it be a fair fight, truthy never really just fights her own battles all the way through. no offence to her. because i'm sure she's going to read this because someones going to tattle on me.

okay. next. stupid freakin lies and drama... i just feel so unwanted everywhere. i feel like no matter what i do no one listens or cares about me so i gave up trying. especially after xander told me to fu(k off and die. that hurt a bit. than i'm sure he's telling truth i'm a b!tch or something...which is cool, she can believe what she wants.

i just...grr... want to scream! you have no idea, everything that i've ever been mad about...i'm just having a breakdown. it sucks! on top of that me and my boyfriend are having issues...alot of them. and to him i feel like hes just using me for sex. just like will did. so yeah. than last night everyones yelling at each other and idk whats going on and xander finds out his girlfriends friends with a girl he hates and he comes confiding to me about how pissed he is.

than ty almost dies. and the whole time i'm thinking i treated him bad, i never told him how much i loved him, any of that sh!t that doesn't even matter! i just...i want to strangle someone...and because of this breakdown ive done alot of stupid things. when i rememberred the truth x blackie humiliation thing i started crying. than i rememberred the chose her over me...i started drinking, even though it's bad. and than xander telling me to F-off and die...i just went off and had sex with someone he says is bad for me. so i just...everythings going wrong and i feel like i can't take it anymore...so i'm sorry for ranting. just needed to get that off my chest.

[.ɛcнσ]

I'm sorry. =[
we love you!

((and i must say... i don't know xander very well, but i just decided that he's a jerk.))

[/blockquote]

[šωιƒту]

Oh Shade! Shadems, please don't hurt yourself, please don't drink or anything.... I don't want anything to happen to you!
I had been talking to Xander while you were gone... he seemed nice, but I don't think so any more.
Please, just please stop this crap! You're going to get hurt, Shade, and I don't know what we would do without you...

[*(SHADE)*]

i'm fine. just drank alittle. got my head hit a few times. my feelings hurt. cut myself up a bit. but i talked to blackie and she helped me alot.

[A lone tear falls]

Dear, I don't care what anyone else thinks. Your an amazing person and if you want you can come live with me. We have an extra room and everything. Please be careful, I don't want to see you get hurt or see you hurt yourself. There are still people who care about you.

[Y u k i]

Like me! I care about you a lot, and love you. I am sorry about everything, but know that I am here for you, or at least as much as I can be. And actually you and lone should come live with me! lol. But seriously that really sucks, and I hope things get better, I don't like seeing my friends hurt *sad face*, much loves! and sometimes ranting can be a good thing by the way, it takes some of the hurt away so at least you aren't holding it all inside.

[šωιƒту]

At least you're not like doing really really bad stuff. I want you to be careful.. we all care about you, no matter what.

[*(SHADE)*]

thank god for blackie is all i got to say. she saved my life, i woulda killed myself if she hadn't been there to walk me through it... me and my boyfriend got into a fight over whether or not we loved each other, and i was an effing idiot and jumped off a cliff into freezing water that moves really fast[genius!] and tyler, my boyfriend, jumped in after me and so now i know he really loves me...cept now he got pnemonia so it sucks. plus this goshdang sickness i got till may sucks!

[Admin]

I'm glad I was able to help you Ali but please do get better

[*(SHADE)*]

okay. sorry if i am being a b!tch or if i have been in the past. i keep getting over-ruled and underminded, and replaced by people i dont even know. so i feel completely disrespected by some of my best buddies and really do not feel it nessecary to devote much time to being a nice person. sorry if that comes across rude or aggravating from an admin i apologize, hoping to fix this issue soon.

[Admin]

Shade you were replaced by no one whats so ever but im afraid all anger posts will be deleted to keep this site clean.

[*(SHADE)*]

not here, in my real life i was replaced. if i were going to be replaced here i'd already be gone. it was not an anger post but a warning post. if i wanted to post an anger post than i would of and you would've probably banned me.

[Admin]

No...not ban id send you an evil text message....a dark evil one....eh no not really Id text you and see what was up.

[*(SHADE)*]

well alots up...and i'm very emotional right now...it's strange. and i'm sick, really sick. don't want to eat anything so i'm grumpy. which makes me act, as you said, childish.

[šωιƒту]

It's okay, hun. We get it. But you're gonna be okay, no matter what kind of crap happens in your life. Like I've said before, everything happens for a reason.